Tuesday Truth Bomb June 16, 2020
We are taught to believe that our relationships with others are based on how they treat us.
But the truth is, that our thoughts about how they treat us will determine the scope of the relationship.
I wanted to offer you an example.
Years ago, I dated a guy, and on our third date, he made me dinner.
My thoughts about him were.
He is a nice guy that is successful good looking and kind.
We are getting to know each other.
When I arrived at his house, he had not only cooked dinner but also purchased me 100 roses.
I immediately had a whole new line of thinking about him.
Who does this on the third date?
This is to fast and way too soon.
I never saw 100 rose guy again.
Now, you may have the same thoughts I did, or you may think I was wrong that I passed up a great guy.
But notice two people can have different thoughts about the same circumstances. And what they choose to think will determine what happens next.
The 100 roses were not good or bad in themselves; they were neutral. It was not until I had a thought about what the roses meant that my thoughts about the guy changed; hence, the relationship itself changed.
Why is any of this important?
When we develop the skill to divide our circumstances from our thoughts correctly, we create the understanding that the behavior of others is not what causes us to disconnect or avoid someone.
It is a thought we have that people "should" behave differently than they do that creates the chain of events leading to
our hurt feelings
our misunderstandings
our bitterness
our resentfulness
our unforgiveness
and separation
Knowing the difference between the two will increase the quality of your relationships. And will increase your capacity to love the other person.
We all have someone in our life that isn't easy to get along with.
It could be a family member, a co-worker, or even a customer service worker.
We are powerless to change others, but we are not powerless to change our thoughts about them.
Remember that your relationship with someone is all your thoughts about them and yourself within that relationship.
There are three categories of thoughts you need to manage in each relationship.
1) How do you want to think about yourself in this relationship?
2) How do you want to think about them in this relationship?
3) How do you want to define and think about your relationship together?
Take a few minutes to answer these questions and see what comes up for you. I suggest you write it down it will yield better results for you than just trying to do this in your mind.
If you have a difficult person in your life and would like to learn how to get along with them, you can sign up to take my
6-week relationship course.
The course covers the following topics:
Week one: Introduction to thought work and self-coaching.
Week Two: Relationships and our thoughts
Week Three: Relationship Our Manuals on how people "should" behave, and social contracts
Week Four: Unconditional love for yourself and others
Week Five: Boundaries
Week Six: Your relationship with yourself
You will receive six one hour private sessions. That will be held in my Zoom office online.
You can schedule a free 20- minute strategy session with me at
By the end of the six weeks, you will know how to manage
manage in any relationship.
The Price is $300.00.
Sustainable change happens from the inside out.
I look forward to talking with you,
Roanna
P.S. Sneek Peek into next week Tuesday Truth Bomb
One of the most common myths people believe is that to change their relationships; a discussion needs to take place.
You do not necessarily have to have a conversation with a problematic person for your relationship to improve. Often, when we believe that we have to have an awkward conversation with a difficult person, the conversation never happens because we want to avoid conflict. This can lead to feelings of resentment, bitterness, and offense.
Many times having a conversation with a coach can help you obtain the clarity you need to decide if a conversation is necessary.
Many relationships can change when your inner dialog changes first.