The Two Kinds of Fear? And How to Overcome Our Fears for Our Kids
Fear is an invisible emotion that lives inside of us. Nevertheless, it may have visible, tangible consequences in our lives if we allow ourselves to be paralyzed by it.
I have personally experienced the crippling effects of fear. For years, I suffered at the expense of fearful thoughts that at times seemed inescapable and paralyzing. The choices I made while influenced by fear are often the ones I regret the most.
Before I received coaching, I was an extremely fearful mom. I worried and obsessed over my children getting hurt, getting taken, or dying. I worried that I did not know what I was doing as a mom, and I was afraid that I would emotionally scar them. These fears affected my choices when it came to parenting, and often not in a good way.
That's why I wish to empower you to overcome fear through this four-part series.
During this first part of our series, I want to help you understand what fear is, the common fears moms have for their kids, and how to stop having fears about your own families.
What is Fear?
Fear is a strong primary emotion we feel when we detect a threat to our physical, emotional, or mental well-being.
Fear is similar to anxiety, yet they are different in a crucial way.
Fear is a short-term reaction to an immediate threat,
while anxiety is a long-term response to a prolonged, vague threat.
There are two acronyms that will help us have a clearer understanding of fear.
F.E.A.R = “Flee Everything And Run.”
This first acronym is based on the natural fight-or-flight response that fear commonly triggers. This reaction is usually based on real threats that may possibly harm us.
F.E.A.R = “False Evidence Appearing Real”
This acronym reminds us that fear is usually based on an illusion about either a phantom threat that is not as intimidating as we imagine it to be.
In his book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr. Joe Dispenza explains that our brain does not always perceive the difference between an imaginary threat and concrete reality unless we consciously direct it to do so.
More often than not, we can be carried away by our imagination about what could happen, what might happen. Our brain’s job is to protect us and keep us alive. One way it does this is by offering us the worst-case scenario.
A refusal to question our fears could potentially affect us as individuals and our family and friends.
We must learn to manage our everyday fears if we want to overcome them.
What are the Common Fears of Moms?
How Can We Overcome These Fears?
There are occasions I have wondered, “Why am I so fearful about my family?” You may have entertained the same question yourself.
Let's talk about some common fears moms have about their kids.
Fear of Physical Harm by Children’s Activities
It's natural for moms to worry their kids may get physically injured or even die if they participate in certain exciting activities.
Some moms forbid their sons and daughters from going on daring rides in theme parks, engaging in high-impact sports activities, or joining camping trips in faraway locations.
Other moms may reluctantly allow their children to participate in these ventures but then live in a constant state of anxiety.
How to Overcome it:
Ask yourself Why are really afraid?
Many times, fears are passed down to us from our parents or from events we experienced. Those circumstances may not even be relevant.
Always look at the benefits your child could obtain from participating in the sport, outing, or hobby.
Do some research-related statistics so you can realistically gauge the potential risks.
Fear of the Mental and Emotional Damage of Children
We are all human, and we all make mistakes along the way. Nevertheless, it is understandable if you feel anxious about making mistakes or possible mistakes you’ve made.
We all fall short in many areas-- our parenting, our marriage, our finances ect. You may harbor guilty feelings if your sons or daughters experience mental health issues as they grow up.
How to Overcome it:
Be fair to yourself. While it is true that our life choices will impact our children, other significant factors could influence their mental and emotional well-being.
Don't blame yourself for everything that your kids are experiencing.
Just do your best to help them to overcome their troubles.
Consider participating in family therapy sessions if
Overcome Fear Through Faith in God, Others, and Yourself
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by fear, have faith in the Lord. Always remember that He watches over you, your children, and your family:
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
Aside from trusting in the Lord, you also need to have faith in your children. Support them as they spread their wings, but don't smother them with overprotectiveness.
Show faith in your husband as well by transforming your parenting style into a partnership instead of a one-woman business. Your spouse may just be waiting for you to give him the chance to play a more significant role in raising your kids.
Finally, you also need to believe in yourself as a mom. You may not be perfect, but you are doing your best. Trust that everything will work out well in the end.
Bookmark my blog for more self-improvement tips.
Schedule a free 20-minute session with me if you wish to learn more ways to overcome your fears:
Wishing you and your family all the best!
See you soon,