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  • Roanna Rhodes C.L.C.

The Secret To Healthy Relationships

Many of us are so confused about how to have healthy relationships.


We are raised to believe that when people behave a certain way, we can feel good.


When we believe that our feelings result from what someone does or does not do for us, we will always be trying to control people so that we can feel better.


We have so many rules for our relationships that we have stopped experiencing them.


Our relationships are simply our thoughts about another person.


Let me give you an example.


Think of a friend that you love dearly, but someone else might not like her at all. Why? Your friend has not changed. It is because the other person has different thoughts, and their relationship with your friend depends on those thoughts.


Knowing this is the secret to all relationships.


Your relationship with anyone is dependent on your thoughts about them.


Many of you will say your thoughts about them are dependent on what they do and how they behave, but I want to let you know that is not what is at the core of it.



Your thoughts about them will be dependent on your expectations of them and how well they meet those expectations.


Your relationship with anyone is dependent on your thoughts about them.


You can’t have love for someone


You just feel love for them when you think loving thoughts about them.


You can’t be mad at someone.

You can only have thoughts that make you mad.


I want you to think about this visually. There is you, and there is the other person.

You don’t have a direct experience of the other person with nothing in between you.


What’s in between you is all of your thinking and all of their thinking.


Once you truly understand this, your relationships will never be the same.


They will be so much better in every way


Do you have a relationship you want to improve?

Maybe it's with yourself or someone who you find it difficult to get along with if you would like a 20-minute strategy session where I can help you take the confusion out of the relationship.








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