Updated: Aug 21
Sometimes we over-complicate our relationships.
We think that good relationships only exist when everyone agrees and behaves as we do.
We mentally create relationship manuals for how we want other people to behave.
It is a “book” of rules and expectations of normal, kind, and acceptable behavior for someone else in their interactions with us. Often, our manual is unspoken, so the other person can’t comply even if they want to.
We find it nice when people do things for us because they want to. However, when they do something for us out of obligation, due to the fact they are trying to follow our manuals, it’s not always as lovely as we expect it to be.
It is these manuals that make our relationships complicated.
In essence, when manuals are at work, we think that people would be a better version of themselves if they would simply follow our manuals.
This also means they are not free to be themselves without upsetting us. As a result, this causes us to disconnect in our relationships.
If you want to have a deeper connection with the people in your life, tearing up your manuals is the first step.
A manual might look like this:
· You should tell me; I look beautiful.
· You should help with the kids more.
· You should support me in my diet.
· You should take out the garbage.
· You should eat less.
· You should want to have sex more often.
When you drop your manual, your expectations come down to:
· You are an adult.
· You get to be who you are.
· I get to decide what I think and feel about how you behave.
If you want a good relationship, you will have to choose to think good thoughts that create loving feelings.
My dad used to tell me, “You can tear up the picture in your mind of who you think someone should be, or you can tear up the person in an attempt to make them into the person you think they should be.”
Choosing to tear up the picture is so much easier because we have complete control over what takes place in our minds.
Tearing up the person is a never-ending struggle of control, fighting, drama, and hurt feelings.
Choose wisely my friend,
P.S. I have some very exciting news coming soon, so make sure to keep an eye on your inbox.
One more thing this blog was taken from part of my 6 weeks Rapid Relationship Transformation If you are struggling in one or more of your relationships and you are ready to find real answers and real solutions then you have to come to check out my relationship reboot program.
6-week Relationship Reboot.
Imagine a life where you
Feel more connected to those around you.
Feel more confident in your relationships.
Stop blowing up internally and or externally.
Show more, patience, understanding, and self-control with yourself and those around you.
Learn how to set healthy boundaries.
Learn how to coach yourself.
During our six weeks together, we will cover the following topics:
Week one: Introduction to How to manage your mind instead of it managing you.
Week Two: Relationships and our thoughts about them.
Week Three: Our Manuals on how people "should" behave.
Week Four: Unconditional love for yourself and others
Week Five: Boundaries
Week Six: Your relationship with yourself.
You will receive six one hour private sessions, which will be held in my Zoom office online. You will also receive recordings of each session so that you will always have the material to look back on. Printable worksheets will be available for you if you so choose to do daily work.
The price is $600.00 Your relationships probably won't change for the better unless you do. If you are ready to invest in yourself and your family future then your next step is to book a free 20- minute strategy session with me at Click here https://calendly.com/roannarhodeslifecoach/20-minute-session This will be your opportunity to ask me any additional questions you may have.
Hope to hear from you soon.