When you were a little girl, do you remember picking the flower petals off one by one and saying he loves me he loves me not? I remember thinking that somehow by doing this the universe would magically reveal to me the answer to the question “Am I loveable and if so, will someone, someday ever love me?”
Throughout my teens 20’s, and 30’s, I desperately looked for that one person I could say “You complete me.” #Jerry Maguire flashback!
However, time and time again, I was left heartbroken and disappointed. If you have ever been there, then I want you to know and understand the truth about your lovability.
Lovability is Defined as deserving of Love.
As human beings, we are all deserving of love. Unfortunately, not everyone loves us the way that we think they always should.
As a result, we start thinking there is something wrong with us,
And that we need to change in order to be loved one, I promise you the only thing that needs to change is your understanding of love.
I want you to realize that your current definition of love may be skewed. For example, do you think that love always has to be earned?? Do you have to earn the love of others? Do they have to earn your love?
Does the inner chatter in your mind sound like this?
I have tried to do everything I know to do to be a supportive girlfriend/Wife.
I have done everything I know to do to be a loving daughter or daughter in law. So Why won't they love me? What am I doing wrong, and what should I do differently?
There is nothing you need to do differently or be different to be loved. If a person doesn’t love you it is because they don’t have the capacity to love you. And it is not your fault.
Some people’s capacity to love others is as big as the ocean.
They have practiced the skill of loving everyone always. While, others
capacity to love others is the size of a coffee cup, and others the size of a shot glass.
your lovability shouldn’t be defined by how many people currently love you, have loved you or will ever love you. Pure Love is absolute!
I like to explain it like this. I want you to think of a puppy. How lovable is a puppy? Well, it depends on who loves it right? However, if you aren't a dog person and don't love the puppy that's okay
But nobody would think of blaming the puppy for not being lovable.
And The same is true for you.
So, if somebody chose not to love you.... what did you make that mean? Did you make it mean that you were unlovable, or that there is something wrong with you?
Have you said to yourself “If only I was smarter, skinner, not so needy... more successful…?”
NO, girlfriend, the only thing that can change how much someone loves you is their ability, decision, and capacity to love you.
You don't need to find anyone to complete you. You are completely lovable just the way you are.
John 3;16, Psalm 27;10, Proverbs 21:21