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  • Roanna Rhodes C.L.C.

Are You A List Maker?

Before I married Glenn, I created a list of what I wanted and did not in a husband. My list included: Be good looking Be a good listener Be handy around the house (like my dad) Make me laugh when I'm too serious Take out the garbage Do the yard work Be honest and have integrity Have a strong work ethic Have a blue-collar job Have no children of his own. ( Even though I had a daughter from my first marriage.) Have a personal relationship with God. Know the scriptures Be a good provider Help out around the house without me asking Like to go shopping with me. Have a generous spirit Like being around lots of people, because I like to entertain. This list sounds like a good idea. It's not. It's toxic. Even though Glenn is some of the things, he is not all of those things all of the time. The list caused me a lot of grief for a long time. Because I held onto it and compared him to it, I compared him to my dad and other women's husbands. I secretly wished he was different than what he was. Today my marriage is more fun, and I feel more connected to Glenn than ever before. Because of my new list: Glenn gets to be Glenn 100% of the time. He's very good at it. ​​​​​​​ I am the one who benefits because I freed myself from that list. Throw your lists of how other people "should," believe, and or do. Learn to love them for who they are and where they are in their life's journey. You will thank yourself in the end. See you next week Roanna P.S. Do you need help dealing with a difficult person. Let me help you understand the essential tools you need to get along with anyone. https://calendly.com/roannarhodeslifecoach/20-minute-session