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  • Roanna Rhodes C.L.C.

5 Ways To Beat Loneliness

How I am fighting loneliness during COVID



Happy Tuesday to y'all.

I dont know about you, but I have been a little lonely these past few weeks. When I first noticed the loneliness creeping in, I started to ask myself why? With everyone working from home and going to school from home, I am never alone, so why am I feeling lonely? Well, you don't have to be alone to feel lonely. As a matter of fact, one could be in a room full of people and still feel all alone. That being said, When I dug a little deeper and started to question it, I realized I miss my pre-covid life.

Lunch with my girlfriend's, birthday parties, ladies gatherings at church.

The irony is that even though I am increasingly "connected"—on social media, video calling, and messaging—I feel lonelier than ever. And even though I may use technology to feel more connected, it may be exactly what’s leading me to feel lonely. That’s why I am using these anti-loneliness strategies. I wanted to clue you in on some of them.

1. Connect face-to-face

Connecting in real life may not be as easy as it once was. We often default to using our smartphones—it's easier and culturally accepted. But we can decrease our loneliness if we build stronger face-to-face connections. We do this by looking people in the eyes, listening, being mindful, and choosing not to be distracted by our phones or other technologies. Even if we must connect face-to-face over video rather than in person, we can benefit from witnessing social cues and keeping other technologies muted.

2. Be active online

Instead of passively surfing the net or your social media, opt instead to do something that involves other people's active participation. For example, you could play games with others, chat about something you care about, give advice on a forum, or have a video call with a friend. The more you interact with others while online, the more connected you are likely to feel.

3. Share for real online

Somewhere along the way, the word “sharing” got co-opted on social media to describe what is just “humble bragging.”

We post about cool things we did, excellent meals we ate, or a fun vacation we went on—all things that we didn’t actually share with the people who are viewing our posts.

Instead of posting about something you did, reclaim the word “share” for what it really means—

to give a small or large portion of what is yours to someone else.

  • You could give advice,

  • words of support,

  • Or even empathy, all from your smartphone.

Your connections are likely to be more kind and supportive, and as a result, you’re likely to feel less lonely.

4. Capitalize on opportunities to connect with others

When you feel good about something, share it with others right away by calling or texting a friend. Or share with the people you work with.

Keep in mind that the positive things that you can share don’t have to be significant. You could simply have woken up on the right side of the bed and think, “Hey, I’m feeling great today.” By sharing these moments, you create small moments of savoring and connection that can help you beat Loneliness.

5. Rethink how you spend your spare time

When we feel lonely, sometimes we want to retreat into a corner and hide. Other times, our endless to-do list may leave us too exhausted to be social. But opting to be alone every night watching Netflix or playing on Facebook can keep us stuck in loneliness.

If we instead use our loneliness to motivate us to reach out to people,

then we can strengthen our relationships. By opting to cope with our Loneliness by seeking out social support, we create more social moments with the people in our lives who matter to us, which usually reduces our loneliness.

I also asked myself how did people connect before social media? One answer I came up with mail. Last week, I mailed out a few cards to let people know I was thinking of them. I sent my dad a care package with a card and some candy. I mailed a birthday card out to a friend's mom who was turning 90. I sent a get well card to a sick friend. Doing a random act of kindness will also beat loneliness.

See you next week,

Roanna

How I am fighting loneliness during COVID

Hello Friends,

Happy Tuesday to y'all.

I dont know about you, but I have been a little lonely these past few weeks. When I first noticed the loneliness creeping in, I started to ask myself why? With everyone working from home and going to school from home, I am never alone, so why am I feeling lonely? Well, you don't have to be alone to feel lonely. As a matter of fact, one could be in a room full of people and still feel all alone. That being said, When I dug a little deeper and started to question it, I realized I miss my pre-covid life.

Lunch with my girlfriend's, birthday parties, ladies gatherings at church.

The irony is that even though I am increasingly "connected"—on social media, video calling, and messaging—I feel lonelier than ever. And even though I may use technology to feel more connected, it may be exactly what’s leading me to feel lonely. That’s why I am using these anti-loneliness strategies. I wanted to clue you in on some of them.

1. Connect face-to-face

Connecting in real life may not be as easy as it once was. We often default to using our smartphones—it's easier and culturally accepted. But we can decrease our loneliness if we build stronger face-to-face connections. We do this by looking people in the eyes, listening, being mindful, and choosing not to be distracted by our phones or other technologies. Even if we must connect face-to-face over video rather than in person, we can benefit from witnessing social cues and keeping other technologies muted.

2. Be active online

Instead of passively surfing the net or your social media, opt instead to do something that involves other people's active participation. For example, you could play games with others, chat about something you care about, give advice on a forum, or have a video call with a friend. The more you interact with others while online, the more connected you are likely to feel.

3. Share for real online

Somewhere along the way, the word “sharing” got co-opted on social media to describe what is just “humble bragging.”

We post about cool things we did, excellent meals we ate, or a fun vacation we went on—all things that we didn’t actually share with the people who are viewing our posts.

Instead of posting about something you did, reclaim the word “share” for what it really means—

to give a small or large portion of what is yours to someone else.

  • You could give advice,

  • words of support,

  • Or even empathy, all from your smartphone.

Your connections are likely to be more kind and supportive, and as a result, you’re likely to feel less lonely.

4. Capitalize on opportunities to connect with others

When you feel good about something, share it with others right away by calling or texting a friend. Or share with the people you work with.

Keep in mind that the positive things that you can share don’t have to be significant. You could simply have woken up on the right side of the bed and think, “Hey, I’m feeling great today.” By sharing these moments, you create small moments of savoring and connection that can help you beat Loneliness.

5. Rethink how you spend your spare time

When we feel lonely, sometimes we want to retreat into a corner and hide. Other times, our endless to-do list may leave us too exhausted to be social. But opting to be alone every night watching Netflix or playing on Facebook can keep us stuck in loneliness.

If we instead use our loneliness to motivate us to reach out to people,

then we can strengthen our relationships. By opting to cope with our Loneliness by seeking out social support, we create more social moments with the people in our lives who matter to us, which usually reduces our loneliness.

I also asked myself how did people connect before social media? One answer I came up with mail. Last week, I mailed out a few cards to let people know I was thinking of them. I sent my dad a care package with a card and some candy. I mailed a birthday card out to a friend's mom who was turning 90. I sent a get well card to a sick friend. Doing a random act of kindness will also beat loneliness.

See you next week,

Roanna