20 Ways to Say No
20 Ways to Say “No”
Hi, my name is Roanna, and I am a recovering people-pleaser.
For years I lacked the skill of saying “no” when I needed to. As a result, I made my life and the lives of those around me a crazy mess.
It is not saying the word "no" that is difficult.
It is contending with what goes on in our brains about saying “no”, that causes us to conform to the request of others.
It is worrying about what everyone will think, say, or do when we say “no” that is the problem.
Our brains offer us thoughts that sound like
"Will they think I don't like them?"
"Will they decide not to like me? Will they think I'm a snob, unkind, unfriendly, unsociable, or even selfish?"
It will always be impossible for us to please everyone.
When we attempt to make everyone else happy, we wind up being the unhappiest person in the room.
As Lysa Terkeurst. says in her book The Best Yes.
"Saying yes all the time will not make you Wonder Woman it will make you a worn-out woman."
If you know this is an area you are struggling with, try these ways to say no.
Maybe next time.
No. (No is a complete sentence.)
No, thank you. I can't.
I will have to take a raincheck.
I can't this time.
I would love to, but I have plans.
I have too much on my plate as it is.
I'm not taking on any new projects right now.
I'm too busy; I will let you know if things change.
I can't help this time, but I will let you know if I think of someone who can.
I appreciate the offer, but I can't.
I'm not a good fit for that.
I'm honored, but I can't.
I'd rather not, but thank you.
It sounds like fun, but I'm not able to.
Sorry, I can't make it this time.
Sorry, I will have to take a pass this time.
Sorry, I have to work.
That does not sound like something I would be interested in.
Thank you for thinking of me, but I have plans.
That's not my thing but thank you for asking.
Unfortunately, I have plans.
If you would like to feel more confident in your ability to say “no” and let go of the things wearing you down,
I would love to help you overcome your need to please others.